Dear Mom!

Dear Mom,

I have spent months trying to put into words all the feelings and emotions I have experienced since I watched you take your last breath, but everything seems so inadequate. 😢 The last 365 days without you have been eye-opening,  sad, empty and yet at the same time filled with so much gratitude, memories (which lead to laughter) and hope that we (your children) are making you proud while awaiting the day that we can be reunited again. 💖

We spent so much of our lives watching you do so much for others. You truly lived by the following quote:

"Blessings come to those who give without remembering and receive without forgetting."

Oh mom, I remember watching you cook for countless events and never complaining. You stepped up without hesitation and could never just take one dish. You always made sure to have one meat, one side and a dessert if possible. How did you have so much energy to do so? And how did you get the money for all of that to appear out of thin air? Lila and I would really love to know so feel free to visit us in our dreams and tell us your secret! LoL. But for real mom, we totally took advantage of your cooking and didn't realize how much work you really put into every thing until we were forced to do it for ourselves. THANK YOU for spoiling us for so many years and showing us by example how to give. We seldom ever saw you at a function without your apron and know that's why so many came to say farewell a year ago. Finding pictures of you in your apron bring back so many great memories. 😍

In the last year, I've had the opportunity to attend a variety of events where one person or another has expressed their love for you and wishing you were there to give a speech on behalf of the family or just tell stories to make everyone laugh. Why couldn't we have inherited your talents? I often play the few videos I have of you just to hear your voice and see your face. I can only imagine all the stories you're telling up above and how much laughter is going on over there. Oh what I would give to be a fly on the wall with all of you! 😘

Remember all those times I would kick and complain when you'd make me fold all the Tongan mats or travel with you to the various family functions? Yeah, I'm sorry for being so short-sighted and not realizing all your wisdom at a young age. There's not a day that passes where I don't sit and think about all the cultural lessons you taught me. It would take me ages to list all of them, but one thing I truly love is how much you prepared me to carry on those traditions without you. I laugh at the memories of you calling me while I was at work telling me about a fala or ngatu that was on sale somewhere and asking me to pitch in or buy it. I should've pried more and asked for all your connections because trying to find stuff to buy nowadays for your grand babies or other functions isn't always easy. I've even considered joining a katoanga in Tonga just to stock up. What have you done to me lady?!? haha...Feel free to point me in the right direction, mom. I may not be a fan of all the Tongan traditions, but I also can't throw away that tradition quite yet!🇹🇴

I know you’re watching over all of us and don’t need an update on our family, but I know you miss your grand babies and are preparing another one to join us in a few short months. Pakileata and Ha’ato’a keep praying for a baby sister so please put a good word in for them!🙏🏽 These boys drive us nuts and we just can’t imagine another little monster running around. Haha. They are growing so fast and we are grateful that Pakileata hasn’t forgotten you and Ha’ato’a still recognizes your picture. Saimone is growing but needs some meat and to stop acting so spoiled. Is it a 3rd-born deal or what? Lol. The rest of our family is still trying to adjust to life without you, but we’re healthy and taking each day as it passes. We miss and love you so much!!!

Because of all the work you did here, we have been crazy blessed. Thank you for being such a people person and touching so many lives. When I look at pictures or videos of your funeral, I’m reminded how much you loved and were loved in return. Please find ways to bless all those who came to mourn with us from up above; or lead us to ways that we can bless them.

We will always miss and love you...until we meet again!

Love always,

Your daughter

...A life to live...

The start of a new calendar year always gives us an opportunity to reflect on what we endured the previous year and what we can do (or hope to do) better in the year to come. 2017 should have been the worst year of my life, but it was surprisingly one of the best. Although I lost my mother in May, I finished the year blessed beyond measure (literally). Let me go ahead and document (for my own personal benefit) the awesomeness of 2017 and what I pray to come in 2018.

FAITH

I am grateful to have had my faith strengthened in 2017. There are so many people who blame God for the loss of a loved one, but the moment I walked into the hospital room and saw how peaceful my mom looked in her last hour on earth, I was grateful that her work  here was done and she could finally rest! She was such a hard worker, always giving to others and to know that she didn't have to break any more sweat serving everyone helped me to understand God's love for her and most importantly, for my family and me. Since her death, I have tried to do my best to live the best I could so that one day I can be worthy of seeing her again. I love you mom and grateful for our Lord, Jesus Christ, and the opportunity He has given all of us to repent of our wrong doings and try to be the people our Heavenly Father wants us to be.

Another fun note to add to this section, I visited 7 temples around the world which included New Zealand, Hawai'i, Houston, London, Paris, Madrid & Toronto. I also visited the Rome, Italy temple still under construction, but since I only count temples I actually worship inside, I'll count that once it's dedicated and I can make my way inside :) Temples are a true testimony that God lives and wants us to return back to His presence!!! Check out a few pictures from each.

FAMILY

I am so grateful for the family God blessed me into here. They are without a doubt exactly who I need to love me, help me and push me to be better each day. A year ago, I rang in the new year with my grandma and parents. It was a quiet evening but I'm so grateful for that sweet memory and the last new year's eve pic with mama. This year, I rang in the new year with our babies, grandma (again), Auntie Telisa, Kapi, Dad, Lila, Jr, Lupe (Tavo), Naki & Ella. Sione was held over at work due to the ice storm and Atapani is still in Seattle. 

I am glad to have learned at a young age that no one or anything is more important than fam[ily]. As we prepare for this new year, I pray that we may continue to cherish each other and to love above all else.

FUN

My idea of fun in the last year can be divided into 2 categories: traveling and working out. I know, working out isn't really fun, but the feeling of accomplishment you get after completing a 60-minute workout is actually a fun feeling! After month's of saying no to Ella, I finally decided to give in and attend a Camp Gladiator workout. I died. Haha. No, but really...I was paralysed for 2 days. I've really enjoyed working out the last 5 months and look forward to continuing in 2018. 

Traveling this year was unbelievable. I still can't believe I went to New Zealand and Europe twice and ended the year in Canada. I really am blessed with an awesome family that made it all possible. I wish I could go into detail for each city here, but that would take too long. Check out my Instagram page or Facebook for more details.

FUTURE
I don't really believe in New Year's resolutions. Mainly because I can never keep up with any that I set so I've learned that I'm really a continually changing person. If you want to set goals and start a new lifestyle, you can do that at any time. You don't have to wait til January 1st to do that. Therefore, as I prepare for the new calendar year, I pray that I can do the following:

• Keep attending church and the temple regularly
• when we put God first, He always takes care and that's the truth!
• Continue to make family a priority
• this includes attending as many family functions I can if my circumstances and schedules permit
• Serve others and my calling to the best of my ability
• Never get lazy or content; continually find ways to improve and give more than I think I can
• Find a career that I enjoy and give my best to it
• I've been entirely too complacent in my unemployed life the last 1.5years
• Continue exercising and trying to be healthy
• My goal is to not lose my desire to keep attending Camp Gladiator and stay consistent with my daily exercise
• Travel to at least 1 new country and 5 new temples
• I doubt I'll get to go to as many countries as I did last year, but I pray I can be fortunate enough to at least go to 1 new country and 5 temples this year.
• Marriage
• I'll just put this on the list because I know it's something I need to get serious about, but I'll leave it in the Lord's hands. I know it's important for me to take care of myself and I really believe that as long as I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, the Lord will prepare me to meet an eternal companion in His time!

2017 was such a great year and I look forward to what's in store for 2018. If you happen to stumble across this measly post, I pray that you have a prosperous and adventurous year. 

Ofa lahi atu!